Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Three I's

Lately I have been putting into practice the Three I's-I've been Irritable, Irrational last but not least an Idiot! Yes, I will admit it. I've been a total idiot. Let me explain-

Over the last few days, weeks, ok months I have been slowly losing my mind. Something has taken over my body and mind and it has turned me into a living breathing witch! I've been horrible. I get angry at the drop of a hat. I am amazed that anyone in my house still has a head. They must somehow be able to regenerate because I am constantly biting them off.

On top of these lovely behaviors I am also not sleeping very well at times, which only serves to exaggerate the other symptoms! And then there is the whole- I could make a wig out of all of the hair on my bathroom floor- thing! Not to mention that I feel like I am in a total brain fog 75% of the time!

As things progressively got worse I realized I needed to talk to my doctor about everything that was going on. So during my annual exam I pulled my list out and starting rattling off each and every symptom. Guess what he had the nerve to suggest? He thinks I'm going through the P word. Yep, Peri-menopause! He gave me a prescription for Ambien to help me sleep (it has become my new bestest friend on occasions) and one for Yaz, a low dose birth control. What? He just threw two words (ok, 4 really) at me that I did not want to hear. Peri-menopause and birth control pills.

Stubborn girl that I am, I thought there had to be something else wrong- no way was I going through peri-menopause- I'm "only" 41. So I quickly made an appointment with my primary care physician, who just happens to be A WOMAN! Surely she could figure out what was wrong. Because there had to actually be something wrong! Right?

She tested my thyroid, cholesterol, sugar, etc. All tests came back fine. So back to the drawing board. A friend suggested it may be a parathyroid issue. Back I go to see her and ask if she'd check my calcium levels. Guess what, she'd already checked them. They are a-okey.

So what do this mean? My stars, I really must be going through peri-menopause.

So now, here is where the whole idiot thing comes in. I was upset. I was almost in tears (there's the irrational thing creeping up again). I wanted there to be something WRONG. Hello, are you an idiot? Oh wait, I've already answered that question- yep, I'm an idiot.

It took my dear sweet DH to make me see the light! I was talking to him on my way home (using my hands-free speaker of course). I told him that all of the tests came back fine and do you know what he said? "Well, that's good news!" What, good news? Hello, that means I am in peri-menopause! Do ya not understand? Then I stopped and thought. You know what? It IS good news. I don't have anything that is really wrong with me. I'm entering a normal phase of life. I WILL survive this.

And then I stopped feeling so sorry for myself. I threw a wet blanket on my own pity party. I prayed and asked God to help me through this period in my life.

And you know what? I feel better already! And sitting here at my computer and admitting that I am an irrational, irritable idiot has made me feel a little better too.

Thanks for listening reading!


ProjectHope7 said...

Hi beth... can you tell me where are your buttons to add your blog to my faves, or subscribe to your newsletter? also are you on twitter? anyway, your site is different... fun reading and yet you have a great witness to the Lord as well! thanks!
cathy b
stop by my busy blog which is a work in progress!

jodi said...

I went to the doctor yesterday with the same types of symptoms/questions. At "only" 37 I was afraid to hear the menopause word thrown at me, but thankfully he thinks mine is stress related. Isn't it crazy how hormones and stress can turn us into people that we ourselves can't even stand to be around??? :)

Smelling Coffee said...

Hi Beth~ I could have written your blog post for you! I've been the VERY SAME WAY, and did the VERY SAME THING - and am 40 and peri-menopausal too!

My dear family went through several months of having monster-mom 24 hours a day! After all of the tests, etc. I, too am on a low dose BC pill, and must tell you - it's made a HUGE difference! In fact, I've been on them for 4 months and can't believe the change in my sleeping, attitude, irritability, etc.

One day after I had been on them for a few weeks, I accidentally dropped my pill and it rolled under the washing machine. I casually said, "oh, I dropped my pill. I guess it'll be ok if I miss today's dose." And out from nowhere, my husband came running through the room, got down on his hands and knees, lifted up the machine and dug out that pill! It was that important to him - and he didnt' want me to miss a single one! That's when I knew it was really working!

God bless you in this new adventure and season of life. I'll be praying for you as the Lord reminds me to - and as I take my daily dose of "nice mommy".

Smelling Coffee said...

PS: I had to get back on and tell you this - I read your post to my husband and he laughed out loud! I told him I could have written your post word for word, and he said, "I could have written her husband's post!" Bless these men that are living with us P.M. women!

PastorMac's Ann said...

Thanks for sharing this with us Beth.