Thursday, July 5, 2007

10 Things A Woman Does Before/At A Doctors Appointment

Ok, today I had a doctors appointment today- no not THAT doctors appointment- I'm good in that department until January thank the good Lord!!! Today's appointment was a follow up visit since my wonderful, sweet, loving, kind and caring family doctor put me on this wonderful drug medication for my occasional bouts of wanting to bite people's heads off irritability.

Anyway, on my way home I was thinking about what I wanted to post about today and I started thinking about my visit. So here are the 10 things women do before/at a doctors appointment.

1. Wake up with the dread of going to the doctors appointment in the first place (ya know the excuse of calling in sick just doesn't work here!!!)

2. Walk to closet and find the lightest clothing (and I'm not talking color here) that she can wear without being arrested for indecent exposure because she knows she's going to get weighed.

3. Look in closet for shoes that are the easiest to slip off- same reason as #2

4. Arrive at office and check in. Check watch to see what time she starts waiting! (they don't call it a waiting room for nothing)-Cross legs, uncross legs, cross legs, pick up magazine, put down magazine, check watch, cross legs, uncross legs, etc.

5. Say to self "after the next two patients go back I will ask how much longer the wait will be", 10 min. later say to self "ok, after the NEXT two go back I'll ask", then "Ok, after the NEXT two I'll ask".

6. Walk quietly to desk, ask in nicest voice possible "Excuse me ma'am but do you know how much longer the wait may be"-smiles her sweetest smile (while gritting her teeth).

7. Walk back into "intake" area, slip off shoes, step on scale, hold breath and stand extremely still- don't laugh you know you do it and why do we do it? Do we really weigh less when we stand still and hold our breath????

8. Walk into patient room- undress, fold "undies" as small as possible, hide "undies" inside other clothing- giggle to self while doing this- especially if it is THAT dr. visit-don't we know what that doctor is getting ready to look at- should we really care if they see our "undies"

9. Visit with dr., share totally unrelated stories, anything to make the visit more pleasant.

10. leave Dr. office and head straight for the nearest place to get a LARGE milk shake- come on you know you deserve it!!

Ok, this may not be what you do before/at a doctors visit but surely some of this sounds familiar!!

BTW- I had a Sonic cookie dough blast after my visit today! Yummy!!!


Lori said...

This was funny Beth! Folding undies very small to hide under clothes - I do that!

Hope all is well!

Jennifer, Snapshot said...

Yeah, you're right on here!

jodi said...

So funny! I could totally relate to #3 and #10. :)

Callista said...

Great post! I don't put on light clothes and hold my breath for weighing though. I know I'm big but I don't care. I do hide my undies in my clothes although I don't fold them first.